NJ : hello.
it’s my last birthday in my 20s.
i’m not sure if it’s because of my occupational characteristic, but it feels that a bit of shyness accompanies the day called birthday.
even though i think that its a day that isnt too big of a deal.. i feel so happy and blessed that so many people send their sincerest congratulations/wishes.
Time to time, i think that love is something that gives/creates a name to someone. to where kim namjoon becomes ‘kim namjoon’. and its all because of you, that although it is just one day out of the many 365 days in a year, 29 year old me isn’t just a day that’s passing by.
Although i want to be a person who can be as honest as one can be, i wonder, to what extent, could the existence of the intangible and tangible relationship between fans and artists possibly go beyond and reach up to.
Can everything just be accepted under a kind apparition called love?
im still experiencing times where expressing my inner thoughts honestly becomes an achilles heel, and honesty becomes a wound, but im still not sure.
I had said in the past that i was sad that it was growing harder to talk. i feel that statement still stands true.
but still, ive grown calmer.
because i received all the sincereity that one may or may not receive in one’s life in the form of a large downpour,
I regarded pessimism and futility to be cool, but i realized that im also someone who is optimistic.
isnt this a miracle.
lately ive been living with the phrase, ‘why not’. i want to live by sharing the optimism that ive received from the people around me.
and im also pressing down and holding onto my next songs that will be released someday.
yes. could i show honesty in a more beautiful method than with music? its a truth everyone knows but it feels as if its still not enough.
thats why i sometimes wonder if i became bts because of this.
because i wanted to do so in various ways. whether it be through programs, interview, or dance, whatever it may be.. how blessed of a life this is.
and wherever i am, these things make me want to see it clearly with my own two eyes and ponder.
they say its destiny when things coincidentally overlap. they also say coincidence is also fate disguised as coincidence.
and i think thats of a similar reason as to why im writing this letter to you. it feels as if i would have wrote this letter on September 2023 regardless of which version of me i would have been. every time, my birthday letter is describing the place that i have arrived at,
just in a different language of love each time.
because of all of you, im living really well. i want to live well. i just want to tell you every time, that im loving you with the best version of myself.
although i cant hug each and every one of you, my heart/feelings exceeds those feelings.
no matter what appearance i may take, i wont ask for you to love me. but i will put in the effort that reflects how much i have received.
the last birthday of my 20s is going smoothly like this. let us be healthy and happy for a long time, no matter what sky we’re under. lets meet again after some time passes.
sincerely wishing you an early, if not a belated, happy birthday to you as well !
thank you.
-Namjoon [ BTS ]
